im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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