i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Randomize
