Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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