i barfeds in our rink
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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