No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
