every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
