So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
