I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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