Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
