Welp...herpes.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
