My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
