I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
