Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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