Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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