This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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