I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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