I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
