So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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