How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
