Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
