I hate your face
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
