we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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