You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
