he thought i was a dude.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
