38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
