is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
