everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
