my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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