I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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