Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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