Already got asked if we're dating
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
you never un-have a 4some
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Damn victory sex feels great
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
