There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
