It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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