I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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