So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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