So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
