Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Randomize
