Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
