6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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