If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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