honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
