Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
