And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
