Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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