There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
