I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
