life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
