You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
