The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
