its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
