no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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