Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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