I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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